At this point in my life, I truly, sincerely believes no one cares about me. That no one wants or needs me by their side. I'm not only talking about a relationship and having a significant other, but I feel this way when it comes to my family as well. I feel like I am taken for granted, used, and taken advantage of on a regular basis. In fact, I know I am. I am tired of being used, lied to and cheated in life. I am so damaged by everything that has gone on in my life, but more specifically within the past 5 years. Five years ago, I was diagnosed with major depression. Before that day, I can't say I remember what my life was like. Ican barely remember my childhood. I didn't have a terrible childhood, I suppose it just wasn't exciting enough. It seems as if I've blocked so much of my life out and can't get it back. I've struggled with self harm, suicidal attempts, eating issues, drugs, hospitilization as well as the depression on a daily basis for five years and it has never gotten easier. Because of these problems, I believe it scares people away, thus the reason why I can't be loved. I feel as though people I become close to should know I have depression. It shouldn't be a secret or a lie. It's who I am and I can't just pretend to be happy, although it's my biggest wish. However I end up getting mad at myself for telling someone about it because then it changes everything and makes people change their mind about me. I'm a good person, with a heart of gold and would do anything for anyone. I never meant to hurt anyone.
I'm just sick of being like this.
Kelsey, 19, Professional Photographer, Ontario Canada. Just a small town girl living in a lonely world.
